Facing Fears in Cross Country (and Beyond)

Fear is a universal part of riding, from grassroots eventers to Olympic-level competitors. That’s exactly what international eventer and coach Lillian Heard Wood reminded us in her recent “Facing Fears in XC and Beyond” session with the Boyd Martin Eventing Program community.

Whether you’re prepping for your first event or aiming for your next big goal, here’s what you need to know about managing nerves, building confidence, and making fear work for you.

Why Fear is Normal (and Even Productive)

Let’s get this straight: every rider, no matter how experienced, feels fear. Lillian was candid about her own nerves. Yes, even after years at the top of the sport. Instead of chasing the impossible goal of “eliminating fear,” she reframes it as the price of admission for doing something extraordinary.

Key takeaway:

Fear is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign you care, you’re stretching your limits, and you’re about to do something meaningful. That adrenaline rush is what makes the finish line feel so good.

Plan Like a Pro: The Power of Detailed Preparation

One of Lillian’s most practical strategies is her approach to planning. She doesn’t just think about her ride. She writes out every single detail. From what time she’ll leave the barn, to her warm-up routine, to every jump on course (and what could potentially go wrong), it all goes down on paper.

Why does this work?
Having a plan gives you a sense of control. When you’ve thought through the “what ifs,” you can focus on the process instead of spiraling into anxiety. Even if things don’t go perfectly, you’re better prepared to handle surprises.

Try this:

• Before your next ride or competition, write out your plan in detail and include possible challenges and how you’ll respond.
• Use this as your “mental rehearsal.” If visualization feels abstract, putting pen to paper makes it concrete.
  
  

Leverage Support: Why Getting Help Isn’t Cheating

Too many riders think they have to go it alone. Lillian was clear: asking for help is not cheating. It’s smart horsemanship. Whether it’s letting a braver rider school your horse, having a friend help in the warm-up, or just watching someone else tackle a challenge first, support builds both horse and rider confidence.

Pro tip:
Even top professionals rely on their network. If Boyd Martin can have someone else jump his horses in training, so can you.

Actionable steps:

• Invite a friend or coach to lend a hand at your next outing.
• If you’re stuck, watch someone else ride your horse or the course. Sometimes, just seeing it done makes it feel possible.
• Momentum matters. Each positive experience, yours or your horse’s, builds the foundation for the next.
  
  

Master the Trifecta: Balance, Position, and Control

When nerves hit, it’s easy to spiral. Lillian’s advice is to bring it back to basics: balance, position, and control. If you’ve got these three, you’re setting yourself up for a safe and effective ride.

Balance: Keep your horse up and light, especially before the jump. Don’t worry if they get a bit low in between. Just rebalance before it counts.

Position: Stay strong and secure in the saddle. Sometimes, the difference between staying on and coming off is simply being in the right place at the right time.

Control: Make sure you can adjust your horse’s pace and line. If you’re lacking control, it’s okay to experiment with tack or practice more in open fields.

Quick check-in before your next ride:

• Is your horse balanced and attentive?
• Are you in a strong, centered position?
• Do you have the control you need to feel safe?
  
  

Process Over Perfection: Why Competence Beats “Confidence”

Chasing the feeling of confidence can sometimes backfire. Lillian and our sports psychologist, Jonah Oliver, both agree: focus on competence and preparation. When you know you’ve put in the work, planned, practiced, and problem-solved, you don’t need to fake confidence. You’ll have real, earned self-belief.

It’s not about being fearless. It’s about doing the work, making decisions, and committing to your plan, even if you’re not 100 percent sure in the moment.

Practical Tips to Use This Week

Ready to put these ideas into action? Here’s your checklist:

1. Write out your plan for rides, lessons, or competitions. Include the “what ifs.”
2. Ask for support. Get a friend, coach, or braver rider involved if you’re stuck.
3. Check your basics. Balance, position, and control come first before trying anything new or challenging.
4. Be decisive. In the saddle, commit to your decisions. Horses respond best to clear, confident cues.
5. Share your journey. Talk about your nerves, wins, and questions with other riders. You’re not alone.
   
   

Want More Support Like This?

At Performance Riders, we believe in honesty, practical advice, and a community that lifts each other up. If you found these takeaways helpful, imagine what you could achieve with regular access to world-class coaches, live mentoring, and a supportive group of riders who get it.